Of course you need help. It takes a village, and all that, right? Sometimes it just seems like more work than it’s worth to arrange for the sitter, write out the monumental list of things the sitter needs to know, summon the energy to get ready for a night out, and then worry about how the baby’s doing the whole time you’re away.
There’s a smarter way to go about it. First of all, accepting help from people doesn’t mean having them simply babysit. If a friend or a family member is there to help (REALLY help, and not just make googly eyes at the baby), then give them a task that WILL help you. Ask them to drop off the dry-cleaning. Give them a list and some money for the grocery store. Let them hold the baby while you hop in the shower. Arrange for them to take the dog for a walk. If they are really there to help, they’ll be happy to do it.
Those first few weeks after childbirth makes you feel like a sore-in-tender-places hermit, so if you feel the need to go away from the kid for a bit, you’re not alone. I suggest you attempt to find a kind soul who can commit to a set schedule a few times a month to come over and baby sit while you get out and run free.
In my experience, arranging for the same person to babysit at the same time meant that there was no stressing about finding and scheduling a sitter, and eventually there was no long list of instructions to write out every time. My fantastic sister-in-law came over once a week (almost every week for a year!) for an hour or so. It was extremely therapeutic to be able to get my hair cut or shop without lugging around a baby carrier for an hour every week. Knowing I could count on this time lifted my spirits on those overwhelming days. Thanks Rachel-I am so looking forward to repaying the favor!
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